The Darkness In Human Hearts

I went to visit my old counselor, Ms. Sullivan, from middle school yesterday. My primary motive was to apologize for taking my general rage at the administration out on her. She said she'd forgiven me long ago, but the apology was nice. It was also nice to catch up in general, we talked about my school, her kids, and the state of activism at Stanley (still shitty, apparently).

Interestingly, I also learned from her that Susan Rusk, one of my nemeses in the administration, was "deeply affected" by my nasty email. She apparently felt hurt, and felt I'd misunderstood her motives, and not realized that she was "going to bat for me". I replied that if that's what going to bat for me is, I shudder to think what would have happened if she'd been out to get me. According to Ms. Sullivan she misunderstood me when she answered that she would make a gay student use the office bathroom rather than tell homophobic assholes that they were not allowed to harass said gay student in the bathroom. If what she said is what she meant, she's not qualified to do her job, because Ab 537 forbids tacit condoning of homophobia by an administrator. If she really misunderstood the question, she's not qualified to do her job because she's too fucking stupid. She also has been active at her new school in combating "gay" as a slur, which possibly indicates that the dumb broad learned something, at least. Even if she's sincerely repented, I stand by my previous statements, because even if she fucked me up on accident, she still fucked me up. Also, allowing me to learn her response through a third party smacks to me of cowardice.

I love when I get what I want, and in this case, I did. I at the very least hit a nerve, even if I didn't change her mind. And being the evil person I am (hey, it's in the title), revenge is often sweet.

On the subject of sweetness, the GSA is having a bake sale tomorrow. In the course of making muffins for said bake sale, I set one on fire. I had no idea one could set only one of a pan of 12 muffins on fire, but you learn something every day.

Yesterday I learned to make falafel under pressure. Dad had his hernia fixed, and his friend Sarah's been keeping an eye on him while he recovers, and Mom and the Sibling were waiting to go to a thing the Sibling was doing at school, so they were all over when I got home. They then pounced when I got in, (I'd already planned to make dinner), claiming starvation. I then made falafel, as quickly as possible, and contemplated various forms of homicide because they would not get out of the goddamn kitchen. Additionally, I hate being around Mom and Dad at the same time. They get on edge, put me on edge, and we all snipe at each other. One of the few advantages to their divorce is not having to deal with both of them at the same time, and when they mess with that, I get pissed.

Lately I've had periodic longings for mellowness. The nicest days I've had lately have all involved not wearing shoes, playing in the grass and having someone to talk to. School lacks all of these things except someone to talk to, which occurs sporadically. I long for summer. Even with work, having a chance to have actual free time on the weekends would be nice.

42 days left until school's over. I'd gladly give up every day off to shave off days between now and then. I want to be able to sleep like a normal person. I want to not be constantly frustrated. I want to see my girlfriend more than once a week. I want to be treated with respect, which happens at work, but not school. I fucking want it to be summer. Oh well.

Evil Tranny, off to court the fickle gods of mellow.